So many things have happened in the last couple of days, I became an Independent Consultant for an amazing cosmetic and skin care company; Arbonne International, and I got a new job doing coordination type work at a very large oil company. I am so excited and overwhelmed, my emotions have been ranging from ecstasy to panic. I am trying to take one thing at a time but I go between wanting to slow down to wanting to do everything at once.
I am excited to learn about this new part of my life, both the new job and the consultant business but I have to admit I have been a little distracted with the Arbonne stuff and kind of ignoring the new job. I think its because with Arbonne I get to be my own boss, I get to decide how hard I work and when I work. That is what attracted it to me in the first place, I'm going this evening to pick up all of the product that I ordered and I can't wait! I have a secret, I am a closet cosmetic junky. When I buy new products I take them home, line them up, read all the packaging and I try them out one by one. Yes I do this, and now I am a cosmetic company rep and I am so excited. Also since I have been using the skin care line I have not had very many pimples and my black heads are way better. All around good things.
As for the new job, I don't know very much about it, I sort of jumped in head first because I can't be at my current job any longer. It hurts my brain too much. I'm riding a high for sure but every so often a little voice inside of me says don't get too excited, don't get your hopes up, what if your disappointed? I hate this voice, I hate it and wish it would go away. I have been trying to learn to ignore it and most of the time I succeed, but its so sneaky and quiet. The voice comes from no where and places doubt in my mind, fear of failure, fear of the unknown.
Through the doubt there is so much happiness, I am so glad I decided to take control of my life and make decisions for me. Maybe Arbonne will be a waste of my time and money, maybe I will look back on it and say why did I do this. Or maybe I will be amazing at it, and I will get to do it full time and never have to go to an office every again. I could raise my kids and still make money for myself, not having to reply fully on a husband. This job has so many dreams attached to it I need to reign myself in, check myself that I haven't even started yet. I need to take it slow, but that's not really how I do things. When I decide I'm doing something I do it fully, it may take me awhile to reach the decision but after it is made I'm committed.
Last night before I went to bed I was genuinely elated, I couldn't keep the smile off of my face. I know the next couple of months will be hard. Getting your own business up and running is such a challenge and 97% of people in the direct sales market fail. I think I like being the underdog though, show everyone I can do it, even if no one thinks I can. Which by the way is not the case since my family, friends and boyfriend have been amazing through all of this and will continue to be I'm sure. I guess I like being the statistical underdog.
My emotions are going crazy but I am very happy which is an amazing thing.
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