For my whole life I have been put on different medications, I have always had health problems and prescription medication has been a part of my life. For the first time in a long time I am medication free! whic for me is a little bit of a foreign concept. In January I stopped taking my stomach medication and on Monday I took the last of my antidepressants, and aside from a little bit of withdrawal I am feeling great mood-wise.
The withdrawal is very strange, it feels like electro shock running through my body in at different intervals. Like my whole body is being jolted over and over, it's extremely disorienting and makes me slightly sick to my stomach. The only thing that makes me feel better is eating, is anyone surprised? To me, eating makes everything better haha.
I am so pumped right now because I have 4 potential business partners in my Arbonne life right now. I have been just talking to a lot of new people and feel like things are coming together finally. All of these potentials are wonderful woman and completely different which is the amazing thing about this business. Along with the new potentials (I have to think of it that way or my hopes sky rocket) I have had a good week in sales, not amazing but I feel like I am leading from the front like all the experts say is what you should do. If you work your business, others will follow.
April is looking like a busy month for me, I do need to book a couple more personal parties (okay any personal products would be good) however it's not even April and I have only 11 free days! This is between Toque and Arbonne but it still means making money and lowering debt. Hopefully eventually it means saving money :)
I think my obsession with saving money for sure comes from my Dad, it feels good to me to save money, to have a stable future. I kind of love it :) I look forward to it again.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Epiphany
It has been an entire month since I last posted, I'm not sure why, I'm not sure if I was avoiding or if I just had nothing to say. I think I have been finding my footing this month, after my birthday the whole month seemed to fly by and my actions weren't exactly wonderful. It was like I was in a daze and didn't even realize it.
I went through a little bit of an epiphany in the last week which has led me to this post. On the weekend I got drunk; obnoxiously, sloppy, brattish drunk. I ended up falling flat on my face in my friend's bathroom resulting in a bloody nose and fat lip. I woke up the next day sore and embarrassed, I was ashamed at my behavior, I felt very low. Then a funny thing happened, I felt like a fire was lit under me, it was like the drive I have been missing had been literally smashed into me. I started feeling like doing things again. I started feeling the drive to do Arbonne, to be the best server I can be, to keep my house in order, to eat healthy. All of the things I felt I had no motivation to achieve suddenly rushed back into my life. I am so thankful to have it back.
It's weird that this awful experience could lead to something so good, my calendar is full for the next 2 weeks, I am paying off my debt as quickly as I can and I am feeling in control. I did 20 minute of cardio today, not a lot but better than nothing, I thought of doing it and I did it.
I am so desperate to hold onto this motivation I feel like I can see the white on my knuckles from clutching at it so hard. I am searching for the inner motivation to keep going, to grab onto all of the things I feel I want in my life. I know I have a problem with letting myself be happy, I know I punish myself when I fail in my own eyes, it is one of the biggest things I need to get over and it will take time. Finding the motivation has been a struggle for me but I feel like I am getting closer, I think that this journey I am on is much longer than I first thought, it doesn't need to be over so soon, I need to realize I will always be striving to make myself better. This is not a bad thing, self growth, failure, learning from your mistakes are all things necessary in life, they make life worth living.
I went through a little bit of an epiphany in the last week which has led me to this post. On the weekend I got drunk; obnoxiously, sloppy, brattish drunk. I ended up falling flat on my face in my friend's bathroom resulting in a bloody nose and fat lip. I woke up the next day sore and embarrassed, I was ashamed at my behavior, I felt very low. Then a funny thing happened, I felt like a fire was lit under me, it was like the drive I have been missing had been literally smashed into me. I started feeling like doing things again. I started feeling the drive to do Arbonne, to be the best server I can be, to keep my house in order, to eat healthy. All of the things I felt I had no motivation to achieve suddenly rushed back into my life. I am so thankful to have it back.
It's weird that this awful experience could lead to something so good, my calendar is full for the next 2 weeks, I am paying off my debt as quickly as I can and I am feeling in control. I did 20 minute of cardio today, not a lot but better than nothing, I thought of doing it and I did it.
I am so desperate to hold onto this motivation I feel like I can see the white on my knuckles from clutching at it so hard. I am searching for the inner motivation to keep going, to grab onto all of the things I feel I want in my life. I know I have a problem with letting myself be happy, I know I punish myself when I fail in my own eyes, it is one of the biggest things I need to get over and it will take time. Finding the motivation has been a struggle for me but I feel like I am getting closer, I think that this journey I am on is much longer than I first thought, it doesn't need to be over so soon, I need to realize I will always be striving to make myself better. This is not a bad thing, self growth, failure, learning from your mistakes are all things necessary in life, they make life worth living.
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