Day 8

I am in LOVE with eating healthy, and also I am the QUEEN of will power this week. Will power achievements to date #1 we had 7 layer dip, chips, spinach dip and bread at work this week, I had NONE of it. Achievement #2, at a dinner party at my best friends place yesterday there were chips and hummus, I had NONE. Today I went to the grocery store while I was very hungry and instead of getting rice filled sushi (that I really wanted) I got shrimp, peppers and cauliflower. So PROUD of myself, and I am apparently okay with blowing my own horn, which in this case I think is okay.

With this wonderful week behind me I have to stay sharp, stay focused and as always try to exercise more. I am really enjoying the way my body is responding to eating healthy, really feel like the food I am eating is fueling my body.

The question is, how do I get myself to exercise? I think about it, I want to do it but somehow the end of the day comes and I haven't done it. I've been thinking about getting a treadmill/ elliptical but still haven't bought one. I can't seem to get over the block that I have, am I just lazy? Or do I just not want it enough?

These are hard questions, maybe I need to plan more, or maybe when I get used to the healthy eating I will find more time to exercise? More probably I don't want to face the difficulty I will have when I finally exercise and consequently the sore muscles that will come from that exercise. Why am I so scared of hard work?

Day 6

After my lack luster post 2 days ago and then my non existent post yesterday I bet you thought I wasn't going to post again? That I had fallen off the wagon? Nope! I dealt with busy life and still stayed on track with my goals. This morning we had an appraiser come to the house, we want to get an increase of funds from the bank to finish the renovation off correctly. So this person came to decide if we are doing the right things with our money. In preparation for the visit my hubby and I have spent all the evenings this week working on getting the house together; mostly cleaning, which is why I haven't been strictly "exercising." I have been active but not in the hardcore way I envisioned at the start of the week.

The awesome thing is I have been kicking ass at eating correctly, I cooked meals every night this week (for me this is huge!) Tonight I made Curried Shrimp with Mango Couscous, and it was spectacular! For anyone struggling with healthy eating this recipe will change your mind about being able to do it.I made a couple of changes to the recipe as I did with the other one but I hope you enjoy.

INGREDIENTS

• 1cup  whole-wheat couscous
• 1mango, peeled and diced
• 1teaspoon  finely diced jalapeno pepper
• 1tablespoon  plus 1 teaspoon freshly squeezed lime juice
• 1/4cup  chopped cilantro
• Salt
• Freshly ground black pepper
• 2tablespoons  red curry paste
• 2teaspoons  vegetable oil   (I don't think this is necessary if you have a good non stick pan)
• 1tablespoon  plus 1/2 teaspoon finely minced garlic
• 3/4pound  shrimp, cleaned and shelled, tails on
• 17 ounce container 2 percent Greek yogurt  (I used fat free sour cream)
• 1teaspoon  grated ginger    (I used powdered ginger and 4 teaspoons, but I love ginger)
• Lime wedges (optional)

**I also added broccoli to the recipe, I steamed it then mixed it into the couscous because I thought it needed more green**

DIRECTIONS

1. Cook couscous according to package directions. Combine with mango, jalapeno pepper, 1 teaspoon of the lime juice and half the cilantro. Season to taste with salt and black pepper.

2. In a large bowl, whisk together red curry paste, vegetable oil, 1 tablespoon of the garlic and remaining lime juice. Add shrimp; toss to coat.

3. Mix together yogurt, ginger and remaining cilantro and garlic in a small bowl. Season to taste with black pepper.

4. Heat a grill to medium high. Grill shrimp until just cooked through, about 2 minutes per side.

5. Arrange shrimp and couscous on a platter and serve with the yogurt sauce. Garnish with lime wedges if desired.

Now after eating veggies all week I sort of went crazy and took a lot of the couscous without realizing it, and didn't notice until I was done eating. This wasn't too big of a deal because I had a good day for calories and couscous is very nutritious; however, I just wanted to put out a word of warning, though it is a grain it packs a punch with it's calories.

That was the day I had, I'm going to get some much needed relaxation tonight and get to eat that delicious meal again for lunch tomorrow. This time I am going to measure my couscous. :)

Day 4

I made chicken for supper tonight, and I've decided I don't like chicken, it's so blah. It's just not delicious at all to me anymore. I would so much rather have an amazing piece of fish! I tried a new recipe and it had so much potential but in the end it was still chicken. I guess this means I will have to focus on fish to make my meals.

One triumph though! At work today we had "snack day" which is where the staff gets a spread of food to snack on during the day. My co-worker bought 7 layer dip, spinach dip, bread and chips and I had NONE OF IT! I was so proud of myself for being super strong.

I didn't exercise today, we have an appraiser coming to the house on Thursday so we are working hard to get the house in shape for it. I did a little cleaning earlier but not enough to burn the calories I need to lose any weight or to tone myself the way I am aiming. I did the 300 ab workout on Sunday and my leg sockets hurt so much from it. I feel like I may have strained something, or I'm just making excuses so I don't need to exercise. Who knows really? I'm going to spend the next half hour looking for some fitness motivation because I'm starting to need the push.

Oh and I said yesterday I wasn't feeling hungry and today I have hit the hunger phase, I guess this is a good thing. My mood will get better tomorrow, I can feel it.

Day 3

Today was a great day! I ate really well, did some house work for exercise and am currently 226 calories under my daily count. Hooray! I'm having small doubts about my diet because I have not been feeling hungry or deprived like I usually do when I start a new eating regime. I hope this is because I'm focusing on protein and vegetables instead of filling my stomach with empty carbs.

I made an amazing supper tonight as well, I am having such a good time cooking delicious meals. I have always enjoyed cooking but felt I never had time for it so this amount of cooking is very new for me. I'm posting the recipe below, I substituted green onion for shallots because I prefer the taste. Also I used truffle oil instead of canola oil because I was feeling fancy.
 
Teriyaki Salmon with Zucchini  
 
Ingredients:  
Low-sodium teriyaki sauce (I used a blood orange ginger teriyaki)  
2 (6-ounce) salmon fillets  
Sesame seeds  
2 small zucchini, thinly sliced  
4 scallions, chopped  
Canola oil  
 
Directions:  
 
Combine 5 tablespoons teriyaki sauce and fish in a zip-top plastic bag.  
Seal and marinate 20 minutes.  
Toast sesame seeds in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat, and set aside.  
Drain fish, discarding marinade.  
Add fish to skillet, and cook 5 minutes.  
 Turn and cook for 5 more minutes over medium-low heat.  
 Remove from skillet, and keep warm.  
Add the zucchini, scallions, and 2 teaspoons oil to skillet.  
Sauté 4 minutes, or until lightly browned.  
Stir in 2 tablespoons teriyaki sauce.  
Sprinkle with sesame seeds, and serve with salmon.

So far so good with eating and activity, I'm feeling really good physically and mentally so that is obviously helping. I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings :)

Day 2- Abs

I tried my hardest this week to eat lots of veggies, I only exercised once and then half way through the week I ended up with free tickets to a hockey game from my work. The tickets led to going for food and drinks before the game and that led to pizza for lunch on Thursday as well as dinner out again. By Friday I was feeling discouraged, this is the pattern I always follow, I eat healthy for a while then give into a craving I have. Though I think my biggest problem is exercise, I think about it all the time but the number of times I actually get off the couch and do it are a lot less than I would like. So Friday night I thought about what was really going on, why if I feel I want it so much, what is holding me back? 

This is an issue I feel a lot of people go through when they are starting to change their life, if it's eating right, exercising, spending more time on themselves, spending less money. Whatever the issue is people have a hard time doing what they want because it is breaking a habit they have done for many years. Most of the time there is a psychological block against the change they are trying to make. I have no basis for this insight, I'm just taking what I hear on the biggest loser (love that show!) and using it to make myself feel better about my limitations. 

I think I have this block because where I grew up exercise was solely for people who needed to lose weight. It wasn't about being healthy or treating your body right, if you exercised you must be fat or see yourself as fat and were trying to lose weight. (A lot of the things I think are completely ridiculous, I acknowledge this, that's why I'm trying to change the way I think). In my mind I am scared to start my fitness journey because I don't want people to think I'm fishing for complements, I don't want to tell people I have been working out and have them say, why? You don't need to lose weight. This isn't about losing weight, this is about me wanting to have a smoking hot body that is toned and strong. I want to have endurance and not be out of breath walking up stairs, and to be able to hold my own if someone needs help moving something. I want to be able to protect myself and to not feel so vulnerable. I want to take care of myself, and have being physically active as a part of my life so when I have kids they can experience being active as being normal and healthy, not something you do because you don't like the way you look.

All of this was discovered in a conversation with my husband, who always leads me to what I need to hear, even though I always do most of the talking. I'm going to do this, I'm going to be that fitness buff I want to be and in doing so I am going to ignore my past, ignore that I have never been an active person, ignore that most of my friends at home will probably laugh when I tell them. I will be healthy for myself, I will work hard, I will have cheat days and I will get that smoke-show body. The bottom line is this will take some time, but my goal is to have fitness be a regular part of my life by next summer, to exercise because I love it and to eat healthy delicious food.

I guess I started officially yesterday, I ate my allocated calorie intake (actually came under 82 calories due to exercise) and did 2 mini workouts, which is impressive considering it was Saturday night and I kept my head during the drinking and snacks. Today I started the day with a big breakfast, lots of protein and some complex carbs for my workout. Then I did the 300 ultimate abs workout (it took me 25 minutes instead of 15) and am planning on another mini workout before the day is over.

The best thing is a feel really good, it's only been a day and a half but I am proud of myself! This week's goal is exercise, I will do either Jillian's ab workout or the 300 ab workout everyday (minus 1 cheat day). I am also planning on buying some sort of cardio equipment so I can add 4 days of cardio as well. I am excited, I want this, and I am fully committed.

Healthy Goals

I have a a goal, to be healthier, and stronger. Yesterday was the first-ish day of the journal where I tried to eat healthy and did a Jillian Michaels workout, and by did I mean struggled to breathe while completing one third of the video. Today I ate vegetables with all of my meals :) and came in at the calorie count I was aiming for! I am very happy about this and will continue to post my success here. Tomorrow's goal is to exercise for at least 30 minutes and eat more vegetables!

One Year

I wrote, one year ago, in this blog. I wrote about being scared, being unsure about my life and my confidence in being happy. It's strange how many things can happen in a year, I know my limitations, and the wonderful thing is that I am okay with it. I have a new job, one that, though has a bit of office politics I still enjoy my day and even though I would rather not work going there every day isn't that bad.

I work in the food industry now, which is great because I love food a whole lot.

The funny thing is I realize why I don't blog anymore, in this moment I realize that I have what I have been searching for, I have the life that I have always wanted. I am happy.

Long Time Ago

I haven't written in a long time, and I just posted a wonderful poem by John McCrae, I posted this because I feel that it is important to love, respect and be thankful for the people who serve this county. A lot of my friends feel that the war is a bad thing, that the government is sending people to a war that doesn't matter, but I see it as a sacrifice. If their weren't soldiers to go to war then the government would be forced to enforce a draft, without our willing soldiers regular citizens would be forced into something they don't want to be a part of.

Soldiers sacrifice for our country, no matter what your feel about this war Canadian citizens are risking their lives for us, they should be remembered and respected.

Long Time Ago

In Flanders Fields

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields. 

-John McCrae