Day 2- Abs

I tried my hardest this week to eat lots of veggies, I only exercised once and then half way through the week I ended up with free tickets to a hockey game from my work. The tickets led to going for food and drinks before the game and that led to pizza for lunch on Thursday as well as dinner out again. By Friday I was feeling discouraged, this is the pattern I always follow, I eat healthy for a while then give into a craving I have. Though I think my biggest problem is exercise, I think about it all the time but the number of times I actually get off the couch and do it are a lot less than I would like. So Friday night I thought about what was really going on, why if I feel I want it so much, what is holding me back? 

This is an issue I feel a lot of people go through when they are starting to change their life, if it's eating right, exercising, spending more time on themselves, spending less money. Whatever the issue is people have a hard time doing what they want because it is breaking a habit they have done for many years. Most of the time there is a psychological block against the change they are trying to make. I have no basis for this insight, I'm just taking what I hear on the biggest loser (love that show!) and using it to make myself feel better about my limitations. 

I think I have this block because where I grew up exercise was solely for people who needed to lose weight. It wasn't about being healthy or treating your body right, if you exercised you must be fat or see yourself as fat and were trying to lose weight. (A lot of the things I think are completely ridiculous, I acknowledge this, that's why I'm trying to change the way I think). In my mind I am scared to start my fitness journey because I don't want people to think I'm fishing for complements, I don't want to tell people I have been working out and have them say, why? You don't need to lose weight. This isn't about losing weight, this is about me wanting to have a smoking hot body that is toned and strong. I want to have endurance and not be out of breath walking up stairs, and to be able to hold my own if someone needs help moving something. I want to be able to protect myself and to not feel so vulnerable. I want to take care of myself, and have being physically active as a part of my life so when I have kids they can experience being active as being normal and healthy, not something you do because you don't like the way you look.

All of this was discovered in a conversation with my husband, who always leads me to what I need to hear, even though I always do most of the talking. I'm going to do this, I'm going to be that fitness buff I want to be and in doing so I am going to ignore my past, ignore that I have never been an active person, ignore that most of my friends at home will probably laugh when I tell them. I will be healthy for myself, I will work hard, I will have cheat days and I will get that smoke-show body. The bottom line is this will take some time, but my goal is to have fitness be a regular part of my life by next summer, to exercise because I love it and to eat healthy delicious food.

I guess I started officially yesterday, I ate my allocated calorie intake (actually came under 82 calories due to exercise) and did 2 mini workouts, which is impressive considering it was Saturday night and I kept my head during the drinking and snacks. Today I started the day with a big breakfast, lots of protein and some complex carbs for my workout. Then I did the 300 ultimate abs workout (it took me 25 minutes instead of 15) and am planning on another mini workout before the day is over.

The best thing is a feel really good, it's only been a day and a half but I am proud of myself! This week's goal is exercise, I will do either Jillian's ab workout or the 300 ab workout everyday (minus 1 cheat day). I am also planning on buying some sort of cardio equipment so I can add 4 days of cardio as well. I am excited, I want this, and I am fully committed.