Opportunity

I've been ignoring the fact that I told my boss I don't like my job so any day now I could not have one. I could go to work and have them say today is my last day and I am not really close to finding anything else. The worst part about this is that I'm not even looking for a job, trusting in the universe apparently to deliver a job to me. I write this sarcastically but only because I have never experienced this before. I do not have complete stability in my life but I'm not panicked. I'm not stressing every minute of everyday like I feel like I should be. Why do I feel the constant need to worry? Why when I am actually just living my life and enjoying myself do I worry about not worrying? It doesn't even make sense.

Along with ignoring the job situation I have been trying to decide about a potential opportunity. I have been trying to decide if I want to become an independent sales consultant. I have been thinking about a couple of different companies ranging between makeup, health products and kitchen products. With this decision I have been doing a lot of research and actually spoke to a consultant who works for one of the companies. It was a really good experience but brought up a lot of scary doubts. Firstly, what if I can't do it? Or what if I start up and then fail? What if I alienate my friends? What if they feel awkward because all I talk about is the company and its products? What if I fail at the job because I can't cook? What if I'm just not good enough?

Those are the doubts I have, now the expectations are a totally different thing. When I think about doing this I feel like I could be amazing at it. Like it could be my full time career, I wouldn't have to work for someone else, I could make my own hours. I just feel like it could be amazing but the weight of failure seems to be pressing down on me. I'm scared to step off into the deep end and make the decision. I have a meeting with a second company tomorrow and after the meeting I am going to be forced to make a decision.

So what to do? How do I decide what the best thing for me is? How do I start to evaluate what I can or cannot do in life? How do I get rid of the crippling fear of failure? Apparently I'm not as stress free as I thought I was...