Decisions, decisions, decisions, what to do? I went to my business meeting today and it made me more confused about the decision I am facing. I spent all afternoon thinking about the pros and cons of this opportunity, talked to my mom, my dad, my boyfriend, and my friends. I have talked the issue to death and have come to a sort of conclusion. I am going to enter the direct marketing world, selling cosmetic and health products. I feel this is something I will be good at and have a great support system to help me through. I like the product and trust in myself to be successful. I am hoping that eventually this can become my full time job.

My next decision is to figure out what type of money I am going to put into it to start up. This is tricky because I was raised to be very careful with my money, I'm much better then I used to be but I am not very good at putting my money towards something if it's not a sure thing. I know putting the full amount of start up money into this will give me the best start I could get. To convince myself I need to view this opportunity as an investment in myself, which I know me and know I will do a good job. It's just a lot of money and with my weird job situation I'm not sure if I have the balls to say here take my savings in case I become unemployed tomorrow.

My boyfriend keeps telling me I have to step away from the decision for a couple of days, clear my head and then come back to it. I know it is good advice I just feel an urgency to make the decision. I feel this urgency in pretty much all decisions I have to make. Maybe because if something is not resolved it just burns into my brain until I figure it out. Once a decision is made it doesn't bother me anymore, I have to live with the consequences but at least it has been figured out. It's weird but that's always been how I feel about things.

My company contact will be calling me tomorrow, I'm going to ask for a little bit of information on what I get in my start up package and I hope this will help me with the money question. More discussion tomorrow, I'm getting a little less scared.