Perspective

I spent the evening with my closest friends celebrating the 22nd birthday of one of my best friends. I love this friend for everything she is and everything she does. Her care for others is unwavering and seeing her happy made the evening a success.

We went for drinks, then dancing, then a nice walk home, though I developed a huge blister and figured out I am ridiculously out of shape,it was still an amazing night with only a little bit of drama.

This was until 4 in the morning when we were woken by a domestic dispute directly outside our hotel room door. As my birthday girls' night in shining armor (in this case quite literally) sprinted out the door we followed and came upon these two people, both yelling about calling 911, the wife saying no, the husband saying yes. Our knight had placed himself in between the woman and man and the fear I saw on this woman's face was terrifying. There was such a mix of emotions on her face that I instantly wanted to take her in my arms and tell her it was going to be okay. You could also tell she was unbelievably embarrassed to be in this situation which is the perpetual viscous circle that women in abusive relationships go through.

As we ushered the woman into one of our rooms away from her husband the hotel employee came up saying a disturbance had been reported. J (our knight) started to explain that he saw the man hit his wife and he was just trying to stop it. It was late I was scared and I felt sick to my stomach because this small town girl has never really been this close to such a horrible situation.

After we made sure the woman was okay, her, her sister-in-law, and her husbands brother went with the hotel employee downstairs and the husband went into his room. We sort of looked at each other not knowing what to do and eventually went back into our rooms. We instructed the girls in the other room (who had been taking care of the wife) not to open their door for anyone and when we got back into our room the hotel employee called to make sure we were okay.

The worst part of this whole experience was the things that the husband and his brother were saying. Though I don't think the brother knew he had hit his wife, the excuses were just flowing out of their mouths. "my brother drank too much and his wife doesn't like when he drinks, that's all this argument is about, "this is a family matter, please go back to your room." The husband even tried to say that we were making this was a race issue and we should mind our own business.

I just wanted to scream at him that it had nothing to do with him being a different race this has to do with the fact that your wife's screams woke us up and our friend saw you physically fighting! It infuriates me that people can just sit back and mind their own business when things like this happen in the world. It is such a hopeless situation to be in, to love someone so much and have them betray you like that. Not everyone has the ability to be strong and walk away, not everyone has the resources to start a new life.

We found out in the morning that the man was arrested, which makes me happy though I wish I could talk to the wife. I wish I could be there for her, be only on her side whatever she wants. I hope this is not an on going situation and I hope she doesn't ever have to be hurt again. I hope she remembers the horror on our faces and realizes that there is another way to live.

It was such strange night and on the drive home I couldn't help but think about how lucky I am, my friends are an amazing group of people who I have common interests with and who make me feel comfortable to be myself around. I have fought my way through friends I was forced to be with, girls I had nothing in common with, feeling like I was the strange one because I didn't fit in. I found my place, found girls who I am so proud to call my friends. I am open and honest with them, I love and cherish these friendships more because our small drama before the big reminded me of a life I used to live. It reminded me of how far I have come and how I never have to go through it again.