I have been trying to get healthy, trying to loose about 25 pounds to look good at M's corporate trip and in general feel better about myself. However, I'm at the point that I don't want to be healthy anymore. I don't want to eat right, I don't want to exercise. I feel like every 10 minutes of exercise I do I should get some sort of medal or something. I'm not even working that hard, I can't find the motivation. I try to make it so I eat well and exercise but I love junk food and I have a wonderful partner that thinks I'm sexy. I need to do this for me, I feel so much better (stomach wise) when I eat right but I hate the process of it. I don't want to go to the grocery store, everything is so hard.
I keep reading motivation tips about how if it was easy everyone would do it but I don't know how to push through. If things are going to get real I think I'm scared of people judging me. I'm scared because my mom has always told me that I shouldn't loose weight. that I am too skinny so I eat junk food. The thing is I'm scared people will look at me and think I have an eating disorder, or that I'm "one of those girls" who only eats like a rabbit, that is what was negative in my life. I was always supposed to be the skinny one, and that mental block is hard to get over.
The truth is, I'm not healthy, my stomach is a mess most of the time, I get colds all the time basically my immune system is awful. I spent so much time over the last year and a half working on my mental health, working through my issues, learning about myself and what I want in life. I think it's time to work on my physical health and maybe I need a professional to kick my butt.
I don't know how to push through
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