Simple, but not easy

I went to see my counselor today, I have been seeing her for over a year now and I love her! I think of her more as a friend than a counselor and every so often a mom, or maybe an older sister. Either way she is a great part of my life and seeing her every 3 weeks had become a necessity. It's amazing to be able to just talk without fear of judgement, no repercussions, just being able to bare your soul safely is wonderful in itself. Having her be able to also have insight into why I am the way I am is an added bonus.

She knows me pretty well and she usually gives me "homework" at the end of our sessions, something to keep in mind until we meet again. They are usually things like knowing my truth, knowing how to pay attention to what I want in my life, things like that. Today she gave me a serious challenge, she said for 3 weeks I have to banish my negative self talk, no beating myself up, no putting myself down, no I should have done this or that. It is said it take 3 weeks to form a habit, and as F said I will never be able to get rid of the negative self talk but if I try for 3 weeks it won't hurt. The catch is every time I slip I have to start the 3 weeks over again. I am going to try my hardest with this because it can only bring good things.

I have been struggling with eating well and exercising, struggling with balance in my life and getting down on myself because of this struggle. F pointed out today that the things I am struggling with are the things everyone struggles with, we as humans are not good at doing them consistently. I have a need to be perfect, standards that no one could live up to. I need to remind myself that if I struggle it's okay.

The other part of my life I'm having problems balancing is Arbonne, I am out of my warm market and need to find new customers. I'm scared to spend money but need to meet new people. I have been considering getting a new job, something to take the stress off financially. I'm not sure yet if I will but it is more of an option than it was a month ago. Arbonne is something that takes time, something that needs to mature before it gives me what I want. I am starting to accept that. Before I get another job I am going to take a yoga class, try and meet some new people and hopefully get some new contacts. If I don't get new contacts at least I will get some great exercise out of it. F always makes me feel like I'm in control, like things are so crystal clear, so simple. Not easy but simple, kind of like Arbonne.